Posts Tagged ‘Etc.’

And now a word from our sponsors…

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Sex Panther Cologne

Anaconda Malt Liquor


Want to run for class President in Nettleton Middle School in Nettleton, Mississippi?

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That’s gre… ooh.  You’re black aren’t you?  Well, there’s always veep!

OK, number one, how the hell does this happen?  Number two, how has this been allowed to go on for this long?  And number three, how goddamn stupid doest this superintendent have to be to even use the words “under review” in his shitty attempt at damage control for something that should have been obliterated from the national landscape a very long time ago?  Both the white and black members of the school board (of which there are 2) should be fired for being too stupid to be on a school board.  Stupidity is one thing.  Stupidity in a position of power is another.


The Dollar Redesign Project

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This is quite cool since it tackles something I always thought should have been done a long time ago.  The entries range from the civil-rights-oriented to thinking differently to the women’s movement to tackling the almost futile goal of bipartisanship.

Some serious creative thinking went into these entries.  For example, besides color and design, there considerations of breaking the rule that only the famous and known can have their faces on the front of a bill, and also some great ideas for making the user experience of counting and using money easier.


How stupid has the whole “Mosque at Ground Zero” thing become?

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This stupid.

At one point, a portion of the crowd menacingly surrounded two Egyptian men who were speaking Arabic and were thought to be Muslims.

“Go home,” several shouted from the crowd.

“Get out,” others shouted.

In fact, the two men – Joseph Nassralla and Karam El Masry — were not Muslims at all. They turned out to be Egyptian Coptic Christians who work for a California-based Christian satellite TV station called “The Way.” Both said they had come to protest the mosque.

“I’m a Christian,” Nassralla shouted to the crowd, his eyes bulging and beads of sweat rolling down his face.

But it was no use. The protesters had become so angry at what they thought were Muslims that New York City police officers had to rush in and pull Nassralla and El Masry to safety.

“I flew nine hours in an airplane to come here,” a frustrated Nassralla said afterward.

The incident underscores how contentious — and, perhaps, how irrational — the debate over the mosque has become.

And this is where the American press displays how utterly castrated it really is.  Perhaps irrational????  An angry mob potentially going violent on two men who were protesting the same thing the angry mob was protesting IS irrational.

And lest you think that this was an isolated incident, it happened more than once.

The man mistaken as a muslim and assaulted by this jolly group of idiots is actually a carpenter who works at Ground Zero.  Nice, huh?

I love my country, but there are times when I think the collective population of this nation is a bunch of fucking cro-mags, or at least that the stupid of this nation have finally outnumbered those with all synapses firing.  Freedom of speech is something that I will defend until my dying day, but when the mob abandons all semblance of thought and is absolved for it in the name of some twisted, perverted brand of patriotism… a word that at this point I don’t even think it’s possible to define it anymore… and the only consequence for their actions is positive press from some jingoistic conservaneocon talking head who will reap enormous ratings from giving these idiots faux credibility to accessorize their faux patriotism, then this country is circling the drain in a downward spiraling vortex of failure.

We truly are living in a bizarro world.  If the socially retarded monsters on Jersey Shore aren’t proof enough that all you need to do to succeed anymore is to fail upward, just take a look everywhere else.  Being a bad CEO gets you a golden parachute.  Failing companies get billions in bailout money from both political parties.  Shitty politicians get millions on the lecture circuit.  Presidents who can’t pronounce the world noo-klee-ər, completely trash the economy, and violate every tenet of the republican platform get elected to two terms… by republicans.  Defaulting on your mortgage is considered the smart financial move.  Racism, jingoism, ignorance and stupidity are considered patriotic.  Education, literacy, critical thinking skills, and the general accumulation of historical knowledge for the purpose of actually learning from it is considered suspect.  And apparently now, we’ve taken the full 180 degree u-turn back to the 1860’s… hell, the 1960’s… with brown skin being considered not just a second-class citizen, but the enemy.

Since the statements of the founding fathers and any President worth his salt are the fodder for political perversion by every shiny candidate paraded in front of a camera, I’m going to do something refreshing and invoke an oft forgotten quote from Abraham Lincoln, and… hold onto your hats folks… use it in its proper context.

“As a nation, we began by declaring that ‘all men are created equal.  We now practically read it as ‘all men are created equal except negroes.’

When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ‘All men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.’

When it comes to this, I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty – to Russia for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”

- Abraham Lincoln, 1855


You know your smoking habit is disgusting…

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when maggots will not even touch your rotting corpse.


Q: What’s the easiest way to make yourself look like an ass?

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A: Have a knee-jerk reaction to a selectively-edited video posted by Andrew Breitbart without fact-checking first.

With the exception of Shirley Sherrod, everybody looks bad in this one.

Breitbart was an idiot before this, but he looks bad for obvious reasons… especially for the “Context is everything” comment.  He did however make the grand leap from idiot to asshole to the tenth power with his apathy about basically attempting to ruin a person’s carreer which was then topped by his idiotic the-farmers-wife-was-planted defense, but now that has to compete with Rush Limbaugh’s Obama-set-up-the-whole-thing theory.  Tom Vilsack looks bad for not at least investigating the position of his employee… twice.  The White House looks bad for backing up Vilsack.  The NAACP looks bad when they tried to claim they were “snookered” when the fact was that they 1) just stupidly forgot that the speech was given at an NAACP event, and 2) that they just decided to not watch the whole speech.  Every media outlet who ran with this looks bad for not fact-checking, but FOX News (and I use that term loosely) sets a new low… well like they have any credibility to begin with… by flat out trying to deny any role whatsoever in inflaming this whole mess.  I think Rachel Maddow summed the whole thing up pretty well.

Racism should not be tolerated.

Stupidity shouldn’t be tolerated either.


Michelle Malkin: “OMG! OBAMA’S DOG FLIES ON SEPARATE PLANE!”

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A PLANE JUST FOR A DOG!!!  COST TAXPAYERS MILLIONS!!!  DERPITY DERP!!!!

Snopes:  ”Uh, not quite.


Proof that there is no difference between parties.

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Below is every political ad you have ever seen for every candidate that has ever run for office.


Dear BP, Just wanna say sorry for accidentally getting our ocean all over your oil.

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In what bizarro paralell universe does BP deserve an apology for the mess that they created through a combination of negligence, mismanagement and overall apathy?  Apparently, Joe Barton, global warming denier and recipient of oil company largess, thinks they deserve one.

I want to know when the hearings for the animals that swallowed up the oil will start.  The nerve that those brown pelicans and sea turtles stealing the Gulf’s most precious natural resource!


Klondike bars, the economy, and letting little kids run the world.

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I consider myself very, very fortunate.  I have a great life.  I have the best wife anyone could hope for, two beautiful kids, and a nice house to live in.  Both my wife and I are gainfully employed, which means we want for nothing.  We make enough money to pay the bills… even the unexpected ones… and have some left over so that we can take the kids (or just my wife and I if we need the getaway) on vacation every once in a while.  Those of you out there who somewhat resemble my situation need to really repeat the above mantra over and over and over again until it really sinks in, because just how fortunate I am was brought into sharp, laser-beam focused, blazing, crystal clarity yesterday afternoon.

I was deep in the throws of work yesterday when my cell phone rang.  It was my wife calling me to ask me if I could pick up our son from school so that she could get my daughter from daycare and then immediately hit the grocery store which was right across the street.  I said no problem and then went about finishing my day’s work before leaving to pick him up.

The end of the day rolls around.  I’m finishing up the last bit of work on my laptop (I work from home) and my son is finishing up his homework when my wife comes in, arms laden with grocery bags.  I help her unload the remainder from the car, and while our kids are playing, she sits down and tells me this story which I will relay to you all as best as I can:

My wife had a pretty big load of groceries to buy as we were out of a lot of stuff, so as she is going down each aisle checking off her list, she keeps coming across this family… a mom (a working mom, she was professionally dressed) and two kids, one seven and one about three.  The kids are doing what you and I did when we were little and what all little kids do in the grocery store.  Every single sugary breakfast cereal and fruity roll-up snack and Oreo/Chips Ahoy cookie bag is grabbed and the phrase “I WANT THIS!  CAN WE PLEASE MOM?” is yelled out.  Being a kid myself once, I remember the answer of “No,” or “We already have that at home, so put that back,” coming out of my grandmother’s mouth as I’m grabbing for the economy size box of Count Chocula with the toy prize inside.  My wife watches out of the corner of her eye as this mom puts back the boxes on the shelf that the kids have been trying to shovel into the cart as she feverishly carries a running total of what she has on a slip of paper and moves onto the frozen food aisle.

As my wife is loading a box of Klondike bars into the cart, the seven year-old asks mom if they can get Klondike bars as well.  Mom proceeds to answer her son’s request…

You know we don’t have a lot of money since daddy lost his job.  Your momma lost her job today.  You and your brother can get one snack and that’s it.  Once you pick, no more buggin’ me and no changin’ your mind.  The rest of the money is for only what we need.  (She looks at the price of the Klondike bars) These are too much.  Go put them back.

My wife stood there stunned at overhearing this and saddened as she watched a dejected little kid put a box of ice cream bars back in the freezer.  She looked down into the cart for our family stuffed to almost overflowing with food… and a lot of it could not be characterized as a “need.”

Before the mom could move to the next aisle, my wife did something that I will love her for until the day I die.  She grabbed a box of Klondikes and pulled some cash out of her wallet, and handed it to the mom saying, “Please take this if it would make today a little easier.”  The mom cried.  My wife cried.  They hugged, and then both went on to continue their shopping trip.

My wife continued in the frozen food section when footsteps come running around the corner.  As if one extraordinary grocery store event wasn’t enough, the 7 year-old comes back to my wife, Klondikes in hand, and gives my wife a big hug and kiss, and proceeds to put the Klondike bars back, grabs another set of chocolate ice cream bars and exclaims…

This is my mom’s favorite snack!

… and runs back to his mom’s cart.

By this time, I am now tearing up at hearing this story.  My wife knew this story would affect me somewhat because of the parents being laid off.  Before the job I currently have, I had lost a job twice inside of 6 months.  The feeling of having to go home and tell your spouse that you have no money coming in and you don’t know if/when you’re going to find another job is a feeling I would have just as soon left a repressed memory.  I was lucky enough to find a new job with another company fairly quickly and as a result, we’re still making mortgage payments, still buying groceries, the lights are still on, and the water still runs.  I listen to this story my wife tells me and I cannot fathom the feeling of hopelessness that two desperate people will experience staring across the table from each other after they put their two kids to bed going “What are we going to do now?”

My seven year-old is just now starting to get a bit of a concept of the power that money has, but for the most part, as far as he and his sister are concerned, things like Christmas, birthdays, food on the table, clothes on your back… all that stuff just magically appears.  They really don’t have much of an idea of its limitations as there always seems to be enough of it to be comfortable.  The two children of this beleaguered mother will be introduced to some very harsh realities about money in the coming months, and probably a year or more if the state of joblessness in this economy is any indication, because this family now has far bigger long-term issues than a $3.00 box of Klondike bars to deal with.  Once income stops, the countdown starts.  It’s the countdown that determines how long can you rely on other family for help, how long can you rack up debt, how long until they cut off electric, how long until they repossess the car, how long before the first doctor visit with no health care, how long before the bank forecloses, etc.

If there is a bright side to this story at all, it’s in the actions of that 7 year-old boy.  My wife did not extend her gesture in order to be mentioned in a blog as a good Samaritan.  She did it because she saw somebody who had the rottenest of all rotten days and who needed just one thing to go OK in their life, so she tried to extend that one thing.  My wife gave of our resources.  The little boy gave of himself and in his little world, he gave till it hurt.    He had campaigned for those Klondike bars and once he got them, he gave them up and put his mom’s happiness over his own.  This world could learn an awful lot from that kid’s actions.  We think we’re such big deals as grown-ups, but some of life’s most valuable lessons that start out as innate get un-learned as we grow up and that’s a damn shame.  Self-sacrifice is very much a part of that child’s nature.  I hope it stays that way.  Just think if those that caused the economic mess we are now in were a little less self-serving and a little more empathetic.  I assure you the world would be a different place.