Archive for August, 2010

And now a word from our sponsors…

No Comments »

Sex Panther Cologne

Anaconda Malt Liquor

Want to run for class President in Nettleton Middle School in Nettleton, Mississippi?

1 Comment »

That’s gre… ooh.  You’re black aren’t you?  Well, there’s always veep!

OK, number one, how the hell does this happen?  Number two, how has this been allowed to go on for this long?  And number three, how goddamn stupid doest this superintendent have to be to even use the words “under review” in his shitty attempt at damage control for something that should have been obliterated from the national landscape a very long time ago?  Both the white and black members of the school board (of which there are 2) should be fired for being too stupid to be on a school board.  Stupidity is one thing.  Stupidity in a position of power is another.

The Dollar Redesign Project

No Comments »

This is quite cool since it tackles something I always thought should have been done a long time ago.  The entries range from the civil-rights-oriented to thinking differently to the women’s movement to tackling the almost futile goal of bipartisanship.

Some serious creative thinking went into these entries.  For example, besides color and design, there considerations of breaking the rule that only the famous and known can have their faces on the front of a bill, and also some great ideas for making the user experience of counting and using money easier.

How stupid has the whole “Mosque at Ground Zero” thing become?

No Comments »

This stupid.

At one point, a portion of the crowd menacingly surrounded two Egyptian men who were speaking Arabic and were thought to be Muslims.

“Go home,” several shouted from the crowd.

“Get out,” others shouted.

In fact, the two men – Joseph Nassralla and Karam El Masry — were not Muslims at all. They turned out to be Egyptian Coptic Christians who work for a California-based Christian satellite TV station called “The Way.” Both said they had come to protest the mosque.

“I’m a Christian,” Nassralla shouted to the crowd, his eyes bulging and beads of sweat rolling down his face.

But it was no use. The protesters had become so angry at what they thought were Muslims that New York City police officers had to rush in and pull Nassralla and El Masry to safety.

“I flew nine hours in an airplane to come here,” a frustrated Nassralla said afterward.

The incident underscores how contentious — and, perhaps, how irrational — the debate over the mosque has become.

And this is where the American press displays how utterly castrated it really is.  Perhaps irrational????  An angry mob potentially going violent on two men who were protesting the same thing the angry mob was protesting IS irrational.

And lest you think that this was an isolated incident, it happened more than once.

The man mistaken as a muslim and assaulted by this jolly group of idiots is actually a carpenter who works at Ground Zero.  Nice, huh?

I love my country, but there are times when I think the collective population of this nation is a bunch of fucking cro-mags, or at least that the stupid of this nation have finally outnumbered those with all synapses firing.  Freedom of speech is something that I will defend until my dying day, but when the mob abandons all semblance of thought and is absolved for it in the name of some twisted, perverted brand of patriotism… a word that at this point I don’t even think it’s possible to define it anymore… and the only consequence for their actions is positive press from some jingoistic conservaneocon talking head who will reap enormous ratings from giving these idiots faux credibility to accessorize their faux patriotism, then this country is circling the drain in a downward spiraling vortex of failure.

We truly are living in a bizarro world.  If the socially retarded monsters on Jersey Shore aren’t proof enough that all you need to do to succeed anymore is to fail upward, just take a look everywhere else.  Being a bad CEO gets you a golden parachute.  Failing companies get billions in bailout money from both political parties.  Shitty politicians get millions on the lecture circuit.  Presidents who can’t pronounce the world noo-klee-ər, completely trash the economy, and violate every tenet of the republican platform get elected to two terms… by republicans.  Defaulting on your mortgage is considered the smart financial move.  Racism, jingoism, ignorance and stupidity are considered patriotic.  Education, literacy, critical thinking skills, and the general accumulation of historical knowledge for the purpose of actually learning from it is considered suspect.  And apparently now, we’ve taken the full 180 degree u-turn back to the 1860’s… hell, the 1960’s… with brown skin being considered not just a second-class citizen, but the enemy.

Since the statements of the founding fathers and any President worth his salt are the fodder for political perversion by every shiny candidate paraded in front of a camera, I’m going to do something refreshing and invoke an oft forgotten quote from Abraham Lincoln, and… hold onto your hats folks… use it in its proper context.

“As a nation, we began by declaring that ‘all men are created equal.  We now practically read it as ‘all men are created equal except negroes.’

When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ‘All men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.’

When it comes to this, I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty – to Russia for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”

– Abraham Lincoln, 1855

Remember in Star Trek II when Kirk used that code from his ship to lower the other ship’s shields?

No Comments »

Arthur C. Clarke was right.  Today’s science fiction is tomorrow’s science fact.

The researchers didn’t find a wide-open door so much as the security employed by a 1920s speakeasy: once they learned the secret knock, the unidentified test car’s controls let them in no questions asked. The team sent fake warning messages from 40 meters away, and in another experiment, got the test car to flash a warning that a tire had lost all pressure while beaming the signal from another car as both drove 68 mph.

Because each sensor uses a unique ID tag, it was also possible to track specific vehicles, in a way that would be far less noticeable than roadside cameras.

The age of the carhacker has arrived.

Thank God for Technological Nincompoops.

No Comments »

I’m talking people so fucking stupid that when you tell them to press any key to continue, they look on their keyboard for the key that says ANY.  Were it not for these individuals, the Geek Squad would starve, because these are the only people who would happily pay for what the Geek Squad offers.

For the unfamiliar, the Geek Squad is Best Buy’s squadron of deployable nerds ready, willing, and able to perform ambiguous tasks for outrageously usurious fees.  To over-simplify what they do… at best, they either do essentially nothing at all, or they do nothing that the average 12 year-old couldn’t handle if you gave them the quick start-up sheet that comes with every computer.  At worst, they completely fuck up everything they touch.

Their services run the gamut from installing bloatware to turning things on to charging you to reboot your computer to not following simple safety procedures to taking forever to fix the simplest of problems.  A more diverse non-skillset you would be hard-pressed to find in any competitor’s organization.  Case in point… the e-Reader configuration “service” (and I use that term loosely) that they offer.

For a mere $29.95, they will (dramatic pause)… TURN YOUR SONY READER ON FOR YOU! (trumpets, confetti, etc.)!!!!  WHAT A BARGAIN!!!!